Mook means roughly what rube used to mean among carnies. Like all psychically walled communities, the adult industry is rife with code and jargon. Wood is a camera-ready erection; woodman is a dependably potent male performer; and waiting for wood is a discreet way of explaining what everybody else in the cast and crew is doing when a male performer is experiencing wood trouble, which latter term is self-evident. SS means a sex scene; a DP is a Double Penetration, wherein a starlet’s vagina and rectum are simultaneously accessed by two woodmen — q.v. 1996’s semiclassic NYDP Blue. (Certain especially stoic and/or capacious actresses are apparently available for Triple Penetrations, but these performers are rare and so, thankfully, are TPs.) Tush ’n’ Bush denotes a film with both anal and vaginal SSs. Skeet (n/v) is a term used for both the act of male orgasm (v) and the material thereby emitted (n). (N.B., however, that both H. Hecuba and D. Filth aver that one of their big challenges as reviewers is to keep coming up with lively and evocative synonyms for semen.) Money — short for money shot — is a successfully filmed male orgasm, which of course 100 percent of the time takes place external to the female partner; e.g. a facial is a money whose skeet is directed onto the partner’s cheek or forehead. Girl-Girl signifies a sapphic SS, which every single hetero film seems to require at least one of. Beam denotes a straight-on deep-focus view of a dilated and wood-ready orifice. A B-girl is a second- or third-tier porn actress who’s lower paid than a starlet and is usually available for more perverse, degrading, or painful SSs. Fluff (v) is unfilmed oral activity designed to induce, maintain, or enhance a woodman’s wood (and high-end porn films used to employ what were actually called fluff girls, who were usually B-girls in waiting).


EXERCISE: Use at least eight (8) of the prenominate adult-industry terms in a well-formed English sentence.

SAMPLE SOLUTION: “After a kind of long wait for wood, a B-girl fluffed the rookie woodman into a state where he could take part in a DP SS whose frequent beams required maximum wood, and after a shaky start the SS ended up a spectacular double-facial in which the starlet really displayed her professionalism by managing to stay enthusiastic even though some of the skeet went in her right eye.”

 

 

Wallace, D.F. Consider the Lobster – Red Son, Foot Note 18